So, I’ve been little bit quite the past few weeks. I had my Crohn’s to deal with (I do feel better on the Remicade), the seasonal desire for it to just be December 18th RIGHT FREAKING NOW please, and I was suffering from a few pretty good weeks of burnout. I loved being an interviewer, but it was a long exhausting day and then I had something the next day, and the next weekend was Monte Carlo, which was also utterly exhausting. Given that the exam was a week after that (on the Monday) it was essentially three really content heavy weeks where I’d had no time to just take a day or two and ‘have a weekend’ and just destress.
That left me really tired and it was so hard to focus while studying, and the last block was a really heavy bock with tons of heme and cancer. Combine that with being pretty burnt out (and also Black Friday and Cyber Week sales on Amazon…) and it sort of meant…
Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly going into the exam with all cylinder’s firing. And then the actual exam happened.
I mentioned this in a previous post, but the exam as brutal. That was sort of the universal feeling on the exam for the whole class: it didn’t really matter if we passed it, it was still going to one of those exam that we really remembered, for all of the wrong reasons. I came out of that exam feeling like it was about a 70/30 fail pass chance for me, and so I didn’t have high hopes for sliding out of this one without a rewrite.
Now, because we now have a curve for our exams, we get an email about our “raw score” which is our unadjusted score. If we are above 70% we automatically pass, and if we are below that, we are subject to the curve. This exam I got the “your raw score is less than 70% you might have to rewrite.” This is the first time I’ve gotten that email, and unsurprisingly, it’s not a super relaxing email. We didn’t find out if we passed until the following Monday, about 5 days after we had gotten that email because of a snow day on Friday and so during that time, I pretty much just tried to stay zen with the whole ‘well it’s done, nothing to do about it now.” And for all that’s true, and there isn’t any shame of failing anymore (the ‘Widowmaker’ exam from phase 2 really took care of that 😉 ) it would have been a real bummer, because the rewrite was only a week and a day before the next exam, and that kind of studying is a recipe for more afore mentioned burnout.
Now, this is my 7th year in university. I’ve taken tons of exams, and I usually have a pretty good gage on this sort of thing (with some noted exceptions I will admit). I was pretty sure a rewrite was inevitable on this one.
So what happened?
Honestly, I actually had to check 3 times to make sure that it actually said Pass because I couldn’t believe it. Experiences like this really teach you that no matter how much school you take, there are always going to be exams that just blow your internal radar out of the water! Given that the next exam is a week from today I have to start studying again tomorrow, but at least I had a little bit of breathing room, and that is incredibly important in med school, trust me on that.
So, 8 more sleeps, 8 more days, 1 more essay, 1 more clinical skills session, 14 hours (OMG WTF) of testable lectures and one more exam until freedom, where I can go home to my family, and have a Christmas tree bigger than the little one I’ve got at my apartment 😉
Still, can’t go wrong with tiny Christmas trees and white hot chocolate 😉
I am definitely counting the days 😉 But it’s the home stretch, and I can do this! So bring it exam, because I’ve got a plane ticket with my name on it, and you can’t ruin that for me 😉