So, at 2:45 today, I finished my first year of medical school.
But yeah, OMG I’m done my first year!!! Looking back at the beginning of this year, it honestly felt like I would never get to this point. I might not be really done, if I’ve failed the exam – which is absolutely possible – but that doesn’t really count. I’m done. I decry it 😉
I spent some time (procrastinating) yesterday looking at the history and progression of this blog, as it serves as a record of my med school experience, and it’s a real trip. It’s funny to look at my evolution from happy, excited and thrilled med student to jaded, more cynical tired one, but I think that transition is probably normal. Now I think I’ve finally got the “shine” out of my eyes when it comes to medical school, and so to be able to look at it and know I can do it and still like what I see, even without that shine is an accomplishment in it’s self I think. Med school is an exhausting rollarcoaster of emotions, but knowing that I made it over the first hurdle alive just feels all the more rewarding for it. In the course of this one – amazing and ridiculous – year I’ve been diagnosed with chronic illness and have worked with and through anxieties, but I’ve also felt more confident than I ever have before. I wear things I never would have had the guts to before like dresses, style my hair in a way I never would have as a kid, feel comfortable socially in my class and have secure friendships and familial supports.
I like who I am, and medical school is a big part of making that true.
It was so surreal today after the exam to say to my classmates “see you in August,” because it seemed like this was never going to end, like we were never going to be done. And yet too, somehow it just flew by, and I know that one day much sooner than I think I’ll be standing with my classmates and saying “I hope to see you again,” when we’re graduating (and I’ll be crying like the ridiculous crier I am, *see the last 10 minutes of Fast 7*).
Relativity, thy name is med school 😉
But that’s future me’s problem; today’s me has packing and moving in her immediate future, some much needed sleep, some Netflixing to catch up on, and then some travel to get to!!! I can’t wait to get on that plane, because although I love Newfoundland it still feels like “school” for me, and so I think it’ll really start feeling like the break for me when I’m home with my mom and sister (and my mom’s cooking #rollingthrougheurope).
I’m 25% done being able to put the letters MD behind my name. I know medschool is all about the 75%’s, but 25% has never looked so good before 😉