I’ve been on my new meds now for a week, and it’s really amazing to me how little pain I’m in. You never realize how much pain you are in until it’s gone I guess, because you get used to that level of pain – it becomes “normal.” I tried to explain to my dad once that my pain was such that there were never painfree days – there were good days, for sure, but good days were days where I didn’t feel nauseous or got down full meals or wasn’t bleeding too much and the cramps weren’t too distracting in class.
That was a “good day.”
It seems impossible to look back, even one week in and think of those things and realize that I could have thought that I had something that wasn’t going to need some kind of serious treatment. Mentally, I think I’m still processing this whole chronic illness thing – the future of it seems nebulous and impossible, so I’m trying to just stay day to day and not let it overwhelm me, which I think is probably a good way to try and look at it. Physically, I really do feel better this week. I’m not sleeping normally I don’t think, which is a side effect of one of my meds, but I do feel less tired over all, probably because I’m losing less blood, which I imagine helps with the anemia.
In other news, life goes on, chugging down to those last hurdles to freedom. I’ve got 4 days to the exam and critically low levels of motivation for studying, but that’s hardly a surprise. The exam will happen and I’ll do my best as always, and if I rewrite well then that’s life, and then I’ll jump on a plane and finally get my vacation under way 🙂 I’ve got the keys for my new place already, and I’ve done no packing what so ever, so this weekend is for packing and moving into my new place, not for worrying for about hypothetical rewrites! I’m still pretty excited about my new apartment – less so about having to move of course – but I will miss the place I’m in now. I really love the room I had, and it was a great arrangement while it lasted, but now it’s time to move on to different and better things I guess! 🙂
I’ve also almost got my Phase 2 research project nailed down, which is good. What was originally a simple project proposal spiralled into a huge discussion on details and deliverables and a follow-up project for phase 3, which almost makes me wish I’d just buckled and done the literature review! 😉 But not really, because the project I’ve got – more informative pamphlets for the Low Risk Obstetrics Practice I did my first phase project with – is way more interesting to me than a literature review, even if it didn’t mean the added bonus of more case room hours and shadowing. I’m up to 5 births seen right now, and I’d love to add to that number, so doing that on my research project would just be an added cherry on top 😉
In other, more fun news, I also got my travel documents for my trip this summer, which I positively cannot wait for! I’ve made sure I’ve got enough medication for the trip, and it falls into the perfect time, because by that point I won’t need blood tests weekly anymore, but once a month, so I’ll get one a few days before I go and after I get back to Toronto, making that perfect timing 🙂 I’m so glad I can go on this trip feeling better – I refuse to let having Crohn’s stop me from living my life, but it’s definitely going to make the trip better doing it without pain and without worrying about missing a blood test. I’ve got some new clothes for the trip, because shorts aren’t exactly needed in Newfoundland – I’m wearing my fall coat again today! – and a few maxi dresses for Europe so I won’t sweat to death 😉
I’m also trying to take 10 000 steps a day. We’ve had plenty of lectures on Wellness and exercise, and 10 000 steps is always the number they recommend for daily walking. I downloaded a great pedometer app for free on my phone, and so I’ve got it own me while I walk around, and I’ve realized just how little I really walk! We’re so sedimentary in our classrooms that 10 000 steps is something I actually have to work at, which is why I’m now trying to take a 45 min walk each night to up my steps and build a little more endurance for my life and my trip. It’s kind of a let down from the activity level I used to have, where I could do 45 minutes of cycling and a circuit of weight training and 300 crunches 5 days a week, but everything counts, and I know that I literally have to walk before I can run and get back to that level of activity. Right now though, I’m enjoying being in less pain, more clear of my head, and more in control of my life, and I can’t ask for more than that!
Except some motivation for studying…
I could really use some of that desperately! 😉